Typo has a calendar that shares a word of the month and for February, the word is fearless. They define “being fearless as not being the absence of fear, it is having fears and doubts and living in spite of them.” Well, we certainly experienced that through 2020 didn’t we? In my experience, it was changing my base to New York knowing that I may not be able to get back to Los Angeles again for a long time, it was moving to the Netherlands to try to be with a man who I was in a long distance relationship with, and it was recommitting myself to pursuing Bad Ash Travels LLC. To tell you I was not riddled with poop-having anxiety would be the worst lie that could ever come out of my fingertips. The second definition is “the act of being brave, bold, and bad ass”. How fitting for Bad Ash Travels. I moved back to the United States in the middle of a pandemic by myself without a job and got my own apartment in Costa Mesa so that when I did go back to work and if I contracted COVID-19, I’d keep my family safe. Yeah, I became a plant mom and yes, my babies are thriving (if that is not bad ass I don’t know what is).
2020 taught me how to be fearless by also being vulnerable and reconnecting with people who truly have my back and for once actually knowing what that feels like. It also meant cutting the toxic people in my life, which has and is still very difficult for me because I grew up with the instilled notion to forgive everyone no matter the pain they have caused. I just mistook forgiving for enabling and had a high threshold for crap so that I could be taken advantage of all over again. I still have love for these people but I learned that being fearless meant letting them grow and to allow myself to heal from old wounds.
To me being fearless is posting this hodgepodge of vulnerability on the internet and handing it to people who actually may not even care. If I could provide some value in your life through my blog and by sharing my experiences, then I would feel over the moon! If you do become a follower and are cool with these rants, along with travel guides, travel videos, experiences and such then maybe I got something going on here. I promise to keep it real and I mean sharing with you how I was traumatized in Bali or how my dad is homeless. That kind of REAL and in due time my pet. I have to get you to subscribe to my email list somehow ;)
It is always difficult to share my story because I know I overcame a lot and I am privileged to have grown up with a strong community and bountiful opportunities to live a life I chose for myself. The thing is, I truly believe that what you put in generates results like my first tattoo in French says c’est le ton qui fait la musique. It means that it’s the tone that makes the music. Being fearless is being vulnerable enough to allow these experiences to come along AND doing your due diligence so you are not being reckless. Which...yeah I have my reckless stories too and I’ve been lucky to be typing before you today (like when I met strangers in Cancun and danced until 5AM on a layover).
Being fearless is knowing how difficult and scary it is for a 20-something year old girl who does not know krav maga to travel by herself while human trafficking actually exists in the world. It is also planning a solo trip to Honolulu and knowing that because I am not an experienced hiker, I probably should not plan a 7 hour advanced hike alone but instead go to a beginner/intermediate one like Kokohead where you are still surrounded by people and you can’t get lost. You could build yourself to get there but I think fearlessness coincides with resourcefulness. I think that in order to travel, these skills are honed because when shit goes south, it could go south and you could be thousands of miles away from the comfort of your home or primary physician. Resourcefulness is learned in these cases.
So I cannot promise you a weekly Youtube video (click here for biweekly videos) because I have other responsibilities like school, work, and I am a perfectionist that won’t let me finish editing until I know all the cool tricks on Adobe Premier Pro but I can promise you a biweekly video, a weekly blog post, and active engagement on my Instagram (click here for insta).
Through my experiences, I could say that story chasing is not a bad thing at all. It does make one hell of a story and I hope you stick around long enough for me to share them with you. Although I am riddled with fear of what people might think, if people care about what I have to say, or if my life is even interesting but it is to me and I will invoke definition number 2 of fearlessness.
Let me know in the comments if you thought this was poppycock or you’re a homie.
